Choices
by jedikatie
Summary: Jim Valenti reflects on the choices he's made now that he's lost his job.


Title: Choices  
Author: jedikatie  
Rating: PG   
Spoilers: Yes, it has spoilers for "To Serve and Protect" and "We Are Family" as well as some of the other episodes (sorry don't know the names offhand) from the first and second seasons. It's set immediately following the events at the end of "We Are Family".  
  
Synopsis: Jim Valenti reflects on the choices he's made now that he's lost his job as sheriff.  
  
Note: Okay, this is my first Roswell fanfic (so please go easy on me), and it's really short, but please tell me what you think. :)  
  
  
Choices  
  
  
Jim Valenti lay on his bed, his feelings and thoughts still in a jumble. Amy DeLuca's distraction yesterday had helped keep his mind off his troubles for the day, but he was going to have to deal with them sooner or later. He'd been a cop for half his life, and now he wasn't. He still didn't have a clue what he was going to do now.  
  
He'd known the risk of not revealing Laurie's hiding place to the FBI, to Agent Duff, but it still hurt--knowing that he'd done a damn fine job both as a deputy then as sheriff for Roswell all those years, only to have no one willing to stand up for him, no one willing to say anything good about him to the city council. He hadn't really thought, deep down, that they would keep him, after he refused to answer their questions or explain his actions over the past year and an half, but it would have been nice if someone, anyone, had spoken up for him.  
  
Worse still was the gossip he'd caught as he'd entered and left the city council meeting--whispers behind his back, conversations which suddenly fell silent as he approached. Since they didn't have the truth, the public was making up its own--rumors were flying that he had a thing for Isabel Evans and that's what he had been doing with her on the night in question. Never mind that her brother was there as well, that detail could conveniently be forgotten for the sake of a juicy tale. He hoped against hope that Kyle wouldn't hear any of them, but knew it was only a matter of time if he hadn't already.  
  
The sound of Tess and Kyle's voices drifted down the hall from the kitchen, too quiet for him to make out what they were saying. Tess, God, Tess had become a part of the family in the few months she'd lived there. He had took her in after Nasedo died because she had nowhere else to go, and now he couldn't imagine not having her there, and he suspected that Kyle felt the same way. She'd been a breath of fresh air around their house, someone to shake them out of their comfortable bachelor's life, almost a sister to Kyle, who'd needed someone like her in his life whether he'd realized it or not.  
  
Did I make the right decision? He wondered to himself as he thought of Kyle. He's trying to be strong for me, not lay all his own worries about what's going to happen on me, just like when his mother left. I've got to talk to him about all this, explain to him why I thought helping Max and the others was more important than being sheriff. Though how I can explain it when I'm not so sure he'll listen, remembering how Max had told Kyle that he "wasn't someone he trusted." He knew that had hurt Kyle deeply, that his father was trusted but he wasn't. Kyle had never cared much for Max Evans and now having to keep his secret for him didn't help.  
  
He sighed. How did I end up here, out of a job and the object of the town's gossip? Just like my dad all those years ago, he thought ruefully. But Dad was right...there really ARE aliens among us. Too bad we can't tell anyone, eveything would be so much simpler...  
  
Jim sighed again, briefly entertaining the notion of telling what he knew to the FBI. He shook his head, realizing that it wouldn't get his job back, even if they did believe him. No, they'd just lock him up in a mental ward at best, keeping him heavily medicated so as not to be a danger to others (or let anyone else know the truth), and Kyle would have no one to watch out for him. And at worst...  
  
At worst, he thought, Max, Isabel, Michael, and Tess would be taken away, locked in some government lab with experiments performed on them day and night, and anyone who knows the truth--me, Kyle, Alex, Liz, and Maria--would either disappear or end up dead. He paused briefly in his reflections, thinking of Kyle and Liz. Kyle and Liz might not be that lucky. They might want to do experiments on them as well, after all, Max did save their lives. How can I make Kyle understand that I'm protecting him as well as the others?  
  
Jim remembered that it was Max, oddly enough, who had reminded him of that duty over a year ago. Before he'd known the truth, back when all he'd had was a handful of odd occurrences and his suspicions. Back when Hubbel had come after Max, and Jim had demanded to know why Hubbel wanted him--Max had reminded him that it was Jim's job to protect him too, not to hound him when Max had done nothing wrong. That's when I realized I'd become obsessed, like my father, like Hubbel. But have I gone too far now? I've sacrificed everything for these kids, these aliens, to help them in their quest at the expense of my own life and family. What have I gotten in return that is worth that?   
  
The memory of Max saving Kyle's life after Jim had accidentally shot him drifted across his mind. When he saved Kyle's life, I promised Max that whatever he needed, I'd be there for him. I've kept their secret, even though there have been more than a few times as a parent that my heart was screaming at me to tell Liz, Alex and Maria's parents the truth. Shouldn't Amy know that her daughter is dating an alien? Shouldn't they know how much danger their kids are getting in, that I'm letting them be involved in? Don't the Parkers deserve to know that Liz almost died and that Max saved her life? He paused again at that thought. I know I'm still trying to deal with the changes in Kyle since Max saved him, when I almost killed him... He shook his head, trying to drive the memory of his son dying in his arms from his mind. At least he'd asked Max to do it, unlike the Parkers who didn't even know how close they came to losing another daughter.  
  
I know Max, Isabel, Michael and Tess are good people, stuck in a rotten situation. They're kids, they make mistakes like everyone else, but they want to do what's right, and I think Max wants what's best for both Earth and his own people--that's what is important. I don't believe that he'll sacrifice humanity for his own people or vice versa. He'll try and find a balance, I think, between the two, and I will help him any way I can. I won't let my own government or their alien enemies hurt these kids, any of them, if I can prevent it. At least they still want my help...even if Roswell doesn't.   
  
He heard Kyle and Tess leave for school, then sat up and got out of bed. Not much sense in staying here all day, he thought, tempting though the thought was. It's a new day, and I need to find a job. At least I've got some money in savings to tie us over until I do. And then there's Amy DeLuca... Memories of yesterday flashed in his mind. He had never realized that he had quite so strong feelings for her. And it had definitely been a pleasant day, spent with someone who didn't believe the gossip and who wanted to be with him. He grabbed some clothes and headed to the shower, ready to start a new day and to face whatever new challenges and crises awaited him. 


End file.
